Stacey Seaside

Have you ever re-imagined your life?

Have you considered a potential future by taking a plunge into the pool of the past?

March 28 is a wedding anniversary.

A wedding that went oh so wrong on so many levels.

And yet, at the time, I could see no other choice, imagine no other action but getting married.

In those moments when you dive deep into full introspection you ask yourself what cerebral glitch was at play, steering you off into a life with someone who was not meant for you?

And to be fair, my ex didn’t get what he had imagined either.

I often walk back the events that led to how we met and how we connected. I take a deep plunge into the pool of the past.

The summer I met my ex in Mykonos, I had not planned to come back to Greece.

But “fate” put me on the island on June 21st in 1984.

The previous summer I had travelled extensively through Greece. Some of the travel had been with my dear cousin Dina. We spent a week on Crete and a few more days on Rhodes.

We have been more sisters than cousins in the span of our lifetime. Our father’s, brothers, and when she and her parents immigrated to the US in 1969, they lived with us. Even after they moved back to Greece, we always had a strong connection.

The summer of 83 was like no other–care free with days on beaches and evenings that began on the waterfront and would eventually lead through the labyrinth of bars and clubs spread throughout the town. Filled with the fun of dancing, flirty flings and laced with liquor, we would go bar to bar. Going off the island with Dina we did more than just the local beach and bar scene. We scaled ruins, we were exposed to other aspects of island and Greek culture with our travels to Crete and Rhodes.

In the end, I was convinced that there was no place like Mykonos. But after 2 consecutive summers of Greece, I knew I needed to expand my travel repertoire. When we said our goodbyes, we agreed that we would be each other’s Maid of Honor. Now the challenge was who would get married first. We joked that that would be a long way off because neither one of was interested in getting married any time soon.

Six weeks later I walked into my mother’s kitchen following a day spent in a high school classroom trying to encourage suburban Chicago teenagers on the merits of the written word. She didn’t bother with the usual pleasantries. “Thio Antoni just called. Your cousin Dina is engaged.” I sat down gobsmacked. “How did that happen? I left here footloose and fancy free!”

A few days later, we actually spoke and Dina filled me in on her whirlwind romance. They would have the official engagement at Christmas and wanted to begin make wedding plans. When could I get back to Greece? The school term ended on June 12. I could be on a plane the next day. That gave them from October to June to decide on where they would live, organize an apartment, furniture, vacation time and a church and venue for the reception.

And so, on June 13 I flew back to Greece. My brother had arrived a month earlier–he had just finished up his master’s at the beginning of May. Most of the month before the wedding was spent on Mykonos becoming a local; hanging out with all the childhood buddies, fishing and beaches tied up the daytime hours; bar crawls the night.

And the wedding came off with great fun and frolic. I am happy to say that my cousin’s marriage remains a success and textbook model of how to have a good relationship. On June 16 they will celebrate 40 years of life together.

We flew out too early the next morning to Santorini for a few days and then back to Mykonos. Our first day back on the rock, we were walking through town on our way to the bus station at Fabrika. At the pharmacy my brother stopped to greet a guy with a moustache. I am busy people watching and taking in the sights and sounds of the street. At some point my brother broke into my daydream and tells me we have a ride to Psaru. “Vasili is going to take us.” I take one look at the moustached man and say, “Great, we found a donkey.”

I married the moustached man on March 28.

In contemplating what went wrong with my marriage, I have often looked at the events that led up to meeting my ex. If I hadn’t come to Greece for the wedding, if I hadn’t been on the street in Mykonos that day, …

I have tried countless time to re-imagine who I would be if that chain of events had not taken place.

I think about the “Butterfly Effect.”

The Butterfly Effect is a concept which suggests that small changes in initial conditions can lead to vastly different outcomes in complex systems. The term “butterfly effect” was coined by mathematician and meteorologist Edward Lorenz, who used it to describe the phenomenon in which a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world could potentially set off a chain of events leading to a tornado in another part of the world.

The idea behind the Butterfly Effect is that seemingly insignificant actions or events can have far-reaching and unpredictable consequences. This concept has been applied in various fields, including mathematics, physics, biology, economics, and even popular culture.

In popular culture, the Butterfly Effect has been explored in movies, books, and other forms of media. The 2004 film “The Butterfly Effect,” starring Ashton Kutcher, revolves around the protagonist’s ability to travel back in time and alter events in his past, leading to unforeseen and often disastrous consequences in his present and future.

Can even the smallest actions have significant impacts on the course of events?

Is there anyone of us that hasn’t been tossed between the Butterfly Effect and re-imagining the life they might have had?

And not only in the negative sense but also in the very positive sense?

This person or that event led me on a course that I may not have chosen or seen. Yet, look at how good it turned out?

This process of re-imagining your life can be empowering and transformative, as it allows you to consciously shape your future and take proactive steps towards creating a life that feels more fulfilling, meaningful, and authentic to you.

Re-imagining your life often entails breaking free from limiting beliefs, routines, or circumstances that may be holding you back, and embracing new possibilities and opportunities. It can involve making significant changes or small adjustments to align your life more closely with your aspirations and desires.

In 2017 I re-imagined my life without retail. It was around the time of my anniversary. I had just returned from a junket of Florida and Costa Rica and knew I could no longer stand behind a cash register 12 hours a day. And so, without much fanfare, I simply stopped.

I was initially afraid of what I would do with myself to fill the days and be productive. Given the time, I was able to repurpose both my time and my path.

More time spent on passionate pursuits and the stuff that really brings joy to the soul.

Like this blog, even if it was slow in coming.

March 28 is an anniversary that I truly celebrate.

Why celebrate if the marriage failed?

Although my partnership with my Ex was disastrous, I am grateful for the two sons we share and for the life I have had in Mykonos. I am privileged to have lived in one of the most beautiful places in the world. My children had an idyllic childhood when Mykonos was still a small, quaint island in the Aegean. I have been afforded friendships that have crossed global borders and the opportunity to live in the safety of a small community. And I would be remiss if I didn’t make a point about being able to swim daily!

When you take your own plunge into the pool of the past and begin examining your own Butterfly Effect don’t forget to find the positive elements in those consequences. And if you need to re-imagine life as you currently know it, do it with courage, integrity and honesty to yourself.

I encourage you to re-imagine your life,

And do celebrate all the anniversaries both good and bad.