Stacey Seaside

In a parallel universe, I should have been in Italy today.

A cancellation in Volotea’s flight program between Mykonos and Athens this spring made me privy to a voucher that parlayed into 150 Euros.

Set to expire within a year’s time, I began searching how I could use the voucher.

I found a regular weekly route out of Mykonos to Venice and Bari.

Having never been to Venice even after several trips to Italy, I thought “destiny.”

Yes, but in a parallel universe.

I had talked to a friend about making the trip at the end of the summer season-when the weather was no longer hot in Italy and their crowds had thinned. We started exploring itineraries beginning or ending in Venice with exploration of Bologna, Moderna and Parma.

It was all looking quite good until the very hot morning of Monday, July 7.

That was the line in the sand that delineated “Before” and “After.”

On that day, my life did a 180 degree shift when I had an ischemic stroke.

That was just three months ago, but it seems like an eternity.

To say that I was blessed and very, very lucky would be an understatement.

On July 7th, around noon, I had climbed the 35 marble steps to my former home, that my adult sons now occupied, to feed their cats. It was an extremely hot day as I typed in the security code I felt dizzy and faint. I looked forward and saw the stairs before me and fortunately fell backwards to a bamboo bench that served as a refuge for the outdoor cats to cushion my fall.

I am not sure if I lost consciousness. My back and my head ached. And when I tried to sit up I could not. I lay there looking out at the yard below. We had workers on the estate so I was hoping one would walk past and I could shout out to them. No one appeared but even as I mouthed the words no sound came out. After some time, I managed to get myself into a sitting position. I knew I could not stand up–I was still too weak and too dizzy. Eventually I thought I could just shimmy my self down the stairs one at a time.

My son arrived on his motorbike and whizzed passed me, his focus on seeing the workers at the back. I began to yell Dimitri, but no sound came out. One of the workers walked passed, looked up and asked if I needed help. I said “Get Dimitri.”

In seconds, both the worker and my son were up the stairs, holding me on either side and trying to get me down the stairs. I was begging to shimmy with my butt on the stairs as they were trying to instruct me on how to go down the stairs. My older son miraculously arrived as well. I asked them to just take me back to my bungalow on the property so I could lay down. Instead, they put me in the car and sped me off to the Kentro Ygeisas, the Mykonos Health Center.

A gurney appeared and I was lifted on to it. They wheeled me into emergency services and started asking me questions. “What is your name? What year is this? Do you know what happened to you?” Then they asked me to smile!! raise my arms, follow a pen, squeeze right and left hands. and answer questions.

At this point, it registered that they were performing FAST–the protocol for a suspected stroke.

(FAST stands for face, arms, speech and time.)

A stroke, I thought?!?! No, dammit. What is wrong with these people. I just got dizzy and fell. Let me outa here so I can get to the beach on this 30 plus degree day!

The day sort of passed in a fog. I was moved by ambulance to the private medical clinic on the island as they could perform an MRI, CT scan to determine what had happened with documentation that the public health facility was not equipped to do.

I knew things were bad when my Ex appeared on the scene.

Someone came in during the blur of activities of being taken in an out of MRI, CT Scans, Xrays, drawing blood, taking blood pressure readings and a lot of huddling medical professionals with my sons and said “So we are confirming booking the plane for 10?” My eldest said yes.

I need to add here that all this time I have been without my phone–I had left it down in my bungalow when I went to feed the cats. In fact I never carry it with me when I am on the property outside tending plants, feeding chickens or just doing chores.

I had also taken off my watch and handed it to my son before I had the MRI. So I had no sense of time passing and no communication with anyone. But all I could think was it must be 7 pm and all I have had is a cup of coffee this morning. Did no one think I might need something to eat or drink?!?!?

As the sky is darkening, my youngest son arrives with my broken roll-on suitcase. The orderly closes the door and informs me that my swim suit and sun dress, which I put on automatically every morning, are coming off. He will assist the doctor to insert a catheter and I will change clothes for easier transport. (In my head I am thinking how am I going to hold the bag on the catheter buckled into the airplane seat on the Aegean flight?)

At some point my eldest hands me my phone. He tells me he has my spine surgeon on the line (I had a spinal fusion three years early and there is concern that there is damage to the spine). I speak to Doctor Yiannis, describing what happened and telling that I am not feeling any pain.

At nightfall, the ambulance takes me on a gurney, with my former spouse in tow, to the Mykonos airport. The vehicle drives out onto the tarmac and I see a yellow and white Learjet with the side door ajar. A doctor and a male nurse greet me–they are vertical and I am still horizontal. The ambulance driver and nurse place a slider board underneath me and then precariously lift me into the plane to be placed on another gurney.

Pilot, engineer, male nurse, doctor, Ex and Moi are now in the plane waiting for clearance to be airborne. I joke with my Ex that the last time he took a flight as a “medical escort” was with my Dad when his stomach burst back in 2000.

We land and there is an ambulance to meet us. We whiz through Athens and eventually arrive at the hospital. The driver opens the doors, my Ex steps out and says “We are at the wrong hospital. We are expected at the other branch.” I am wondering what happened as I can see “Metropolitan” on the ambulance but know that my neurologist, is at Enrico Dinan. After a short while, the Ex and drivers pile back in to the ambulance and off we go.

We have arrived in Faliro, the other branch of Metropolitan Hospital. I am now totally confused but this has been a day of confusion.

I am wheeled into Emergency Services and again the doctors on duty begin the FAST assessment. Smile, raise your arms, questions, questions, questions.

I am admitted to the Stroke Unit where I undergo more xrays, MRIs, CT scans and blood tests.

When the duty nurse tells me to try and get some rest, it 3:40 am.

I was very lucky and blessed.

In medical bullet points–it was a clot–that pushed through quickly–not a bleed. Because of my sons’ ignoring my request to just rest in my bungalow, I received immediate treatment–there is a window of about 4 hours. The medication, tPA, a clot busting drug was administered so the stroke was MILD–meaning very little residual damage to my function. My left side was weakened and the left leg drags but I was able to recover cognitive ability and strength in movement within hours.

When my Ex returned to the hospital the next morning, he delivered my phone.

You do not realize how dependent you are on that frickin device until you don’t have it.

Aside from getting back in touch with the world, it was also my connection to information.

I was being bombarded with medical lingo in Greek and I needed google to fill in the gaps in my information. I had kind of paid attention when it came to issues of heart disease, etc. but very quickly I realized my knowledge was superficial. Over the next few days, I felt like I had taken a crash course in cardiac disease and was cramming for an exam by the time I was discharged.

I was hospitalized for a week. I had two days in the stroke unit and another two nights being monitored on a Holter and with electronically monitored drips of blood thinners as I was diagnosed with A-Fib and arrhythmia.

I had planned to book out of the hospital and head straight to the boat and return to Mykonos until the axe came crashing down on my “activities.” The doctors informed me on Wednesday I would probably be released on Thursday but … NO driving and NO swimming for 2 weeks!!!

At that point, my “return to my life” dramatically changed. I would no longer be independently mobile or be able to do the one physical activity I loved best–be water bound. In Mykonos, there were no taxis which meant I would be stuck at home. And it was now July so the island was already exploding into insanity and people overflow. And even my retired friends were busy helping their families run their businesses.

I obediently remained in Athens for a week, enjoying my darling friend who gave me the tlc I didn’t know I needed. She conveniently lives in Glyfada, a suburb 15 minutes away from the hospital, on the Athenian Riviera.

Between binges on Netflix, the delicious meals, quiet talks about self-care, physical therapy to bring my left leg back to cooperating and several outings thanks to the abundance of taxis, it was a beautiful cocoon of love. She also gave the best gift–she took me for a walk on the beach and let me reconnect with the water.

I am three months “After” the mild stroke.

The three months have been a long journey. Although the stroke was mild, I had issues with spinal degeneration before the stroke and was managing the pain of movement with anti-inflammatory medication that was actually working. Turns out these do not pair up very well with blood thinners and beta blockers that I now take twice daily.

So over these three months I have fallen into bouts of deep depression. The debilitating pain of simple movement from walking across a room made me wonder if I could go on. Eventually the pain has subsided a bit and I am now a big fan of paracetamol 1000 mg!

Acupuncture therapy from a dear friend on the island, swimming, walking and a stationary bike while watching YouTube and Netflix have also been lifelines away from pain and back to less pain when I move.

I walk slowly and with an evident limp even on the good days. Balance is still a challenge. I am wary of even a few stairs because although I tell my leg to go one way, often it swings in the opposite direction. And going up those 35 marble stairs of my former home has only occurred a few times. So glad I moved into my ground floor bungalow this year!!

I have an altered perspective and a true appreciation for all the stuff we easily take for granted.

I know who my friends are and who they are not.

I know what is important and what has zero value.

I have immense compassion and empathy for people who are frozen in bodies that will not listen to brain commands for movement!!

My priorities in “After” have definitely shifted.

Last month, I was grateful to celebrate my 65th birthday with dear friends at brunch looking over the Mykonos waterfront–even if I didn’t get to dance under the stars–or drink (yet another topic for a blog in the future) as I usually welcome another year. Being here another year is more than enough.

I still have much more to say about “After.”

I have done lots of writing during these three months of accepting my new weaknesses but also gaining renewed strength and sense of purpose.

There are a few medical procedures and therapies that loom ominously through the next few months as I manage the A-Fib, Arrhythmia, spinal degeneration and the ensuing pain. The biggest challenge has been accepting that my body is aging and I have not always been kind to it so now it is payback time.

And perhaps that has been the biggest revelation of all. A dynamic rock who could easily absorb the punches life threw, cracked a little with this medical emergency ” punch.”

As friends learned of my incident, many were openly shocked because I have not exactly led a sedentary lifestyle. Always active and on the go, the message came through that I needed to put on the brakes and improve my self care.

I continue to live each day getting the most I can out of it, as I did “Before.”

And yes, in a parallel universe I should be in Venice today.

But the stars did not align in this universe for that to happen, although they tell me Venice is lovely in the spring and the vouchers remain!

Instead, I am grateful to be in Mykonos on an afternoon that threatens rain and watch Katherine Hepburn and Rossano Brazzi in a melancholy romance, “Summertime”, as they explore the bitter and the sweet of life and love on the water in the city of canals.